I Still Mourn…

It was a busy Saturday afternoon at the grocery store. The time of day I don’t like to come. I’m in the zone with my list.

As I wait in line, I watch the family in front of me. I make judgements I shouldn’t when the mom seems overly irritated. Then I tell myself to look deeper. I don’t know their lives or motives.

I start to see the sweetness between mother and little one. And it makes me smile. And then out of no where this thought… You won’t ever have that.

I’m surprised, caught off guard. Where did that come from I think? Maybe it’s the accumulation of life’s griefs catching up to me?

I don’t live in those thoughts long. I think about those we’ve opened our hearts to that have a special place, and I smile again.

Sometimes losses may never completely go away or years later they resurface at the strangest times.

Sometimes it only takes a moment to bring a twinge of grief at the thought of what could have been.

But we don’t have to live in bondage to our loss. Loss can be an opening to allow others into our lives in ways we wouldn’t if not for that loss.

At my car in stillness, my eyes blur. It’s from a mixture of sadness bordered by thoughts of gratitude.

I know God knows what we need. We just take each step on the journey through the loss and through the blessings.

If you are in a season of loss and can’t see out of it, know this…opportunities will come to open up your heart. Trust God’s faithfulness. Your brokenness may be what’s needed in someone else’s life.

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